Platform Madness

Many things make me bummed-out about the prospect of a 90's revival - those ghastly bruise tones, minimalism, whiny rock, and brown lipstick.  Let me say it again: brown lipstick.  How did Bobbi Brown and other makeup artists psychologically possessed by sinister forces manage to convince an entire nation of millions of people that brown lipstick was a good idea?

For those of you who have compartmentalized your memory of the "oh-its-so-natural-dearies" 90s brown-lips-crime, just take a look at the normally effortlessly radiant Jennifer Aniston and behold it working in all its evil...

<taking a deep cleansing breath>

However, there is something from the 90s even I cherish: platform shoes.  Platform shoes, especially peep-toe ones, are so delicious because you can instantly gain height without crushing your toes like spring grapes.  The stress point is transferred instead to your ankles.  At the height of the platform epidemic, lovely young Japanese girls were getting killed in the subway or maiming others in freak auto accidents because of their cripplingly high platforms.  My own testimony is simpler: on a trip to Florence with a delicious Italian man who turned out to be gay (story of my life), I twisted my ankle on cobblestones so many times I was reduced to pluckily scaling streets like this one in bare feet...

 

The great thing about LA: no cobblestones.

So the platform heel trend is welcome in my books, and my my there are some very toothsome specimens this year!

For starters: these guys.  If you read the Harper's Bazaar Fall/Winter 2011 special runway issue, you might have missed these on your way to the nummy back pages where the real goodies are: the spreads from Milan, Paris, NY...more on that later.

These little booties were hidden on the page where they list all kind of names and corporations you are unlikely to be that curious about, for example, "Production and Administration: Group Production Director: Chuck Lodato." I don't know even know what this means.  Sorry, Chuck.  Perhaps to reward those who are reading closely, verly closely they put these gorgeous, adorable, winsome little shoes right by all those titles...num.

Miu Miu booties $890 -- aren't you relieved they aren't $900?  Phew!  Me too.

Ok, onward to Steve Madden...nostalgia trip: I remember adoring Steve Madden in the early years.  I had these little plastic-y wedge shoes, platforms naturally, with pink-plastic bows over the toes...so cute.  The rest of Steve Madden has kind of been a fog for me.  But now look at these:

"Woah" Steve Madden 129.95 and yes there's a peep-toe!

There might be a universe where these don't seem like absolutely mandatory for fall, but it must be a galaxy far far far away....

And then something truly genius.  I think I saw something very like these in person yesterday at the LF store on Robertson but they were more expensive.  If you are an LF person, you deserve know they are having a CRAZY SALE but their platform shoes didn't seem to be included.  Not only were the shoes not included, but they all seemed to be in size 9.  What?  

Jeffrey Campbell $168 psychedelic trip included?

Anyway, Jeffrey Campbell is having this amazing amazing season where he's tapping into my subconscious and producing everything I crave....for example...

Jeffrey Campbell O Wilde in Blue Velvet $148

Yes, I know, but I forgot to include velvet in my list of 90s things...actually it was a leftover scrap from the 80s, when you had all those pseudo-Victorian tea-dresses in velvet, and then in the 90s it was "crushed velvet" which was all about "texture" and people wore those velvet shirts (eh) with velvet shoes (num) and here we have velvet platforms...Ok I'm having a moment...a good kind of moment...

Because: I was just looking at Alberta Ferretti's fall collection.  Now I have mixed feelings about Miss Ferretti: sometimes she nails it, often with vintage references, and I love her.  Other times she does this wispy asymmetrical sad sack-dress thing.  I know because I walk by her store a lot on Melrose on my way to the Bodhi Tree for my free cup of herbal tea when I can't sleep and there is the Albert a Ferretti collection, looking absolutely toothsome or totally bleh.  Several seasons ago she did this lovely collection with a nod to Greece and out of that came this sage-green, Grecian style dress I absolutely adore, became attached to, and waited recklessly at Loehmann's until it came down to a reasonable price (under $100) and took it home with me.  It's a heartwarming tale. 

But back to the Alberta Ferretti collection.  This year she dug into those jewel-tones that are flitting about the collections, leaving behind the aged-bruise-palette for things like jade green, citrus, purple, magenta, num num num....

Ok, the whole ensemble is fetching, but LOOK AT THOSE SHOES!  Who does not need a pair of deep sexy purring magenta boots RIGHT NOW?

And the boots in royal blue!  When I was look at this collection I was thinking: where can I find velvet boots?  Who is going to be doing shoes in velvet?  Velvet velvet velvet!  Wildly impractical but LA's usual lack of rain and mud makes these actually that incrementally more practical.  Any shoes in blue velvet, people..anyone who spies any more blue velvet shoes...please page me ASAP....platform madness + blue velvet = YES!